“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” ~ Hebrews 12:1-3
In January, I was really struggling with guilt. Guilt that I wasn’t doing enough for “the kingdom.” That I was living a selfish and apathetic life and that God was disappointed in me. That I wasn’t being a good enough Christian. I started thinking of good deeds I could do to make myself feel better. I felt guilty whenever I said no to a request thinking I wasn’t willing to sacrifice.
Luckily, I prayed a lot in that time and God graciously answered. The big thing I heard him saying is, “Life is not a test. It’s a journey.” God isn’t keeping score of all the times I sacrifice for others and do the right thing vs. screwing up and being mean or selfish. He doesn’t keep score because Jesus already “passed the test” and that’s my grade.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” ~Romans 8:1-2
But you might be thinking (because I was), but God calls us to live a life of love and sacrifice.What about that? Sometimes guilt is there for a reason. Just because there’s no condemnation doesn’t mean we get a free pass to live a lazy self-absorbed life.
Yes. That’s where I was at and why I was feeling guilty and not sure of what the truth was. That’s when I heard God saying, “Life’s a journey.” God does call us to live a life of love and sacrifice, but I’d been focusing on the wrong part of that sentence. God calls. Not Lindsay’s conscience. Not so and so’s race or calling. I’m not to make a list of good things to do and do it. I’m to run the race marked out for me. I’m to be walking so close with God, I’m in earshot when he calls me to do something.
Furthermore, if I’m walking close with God, I’m familiar with him and know he loves me and isn’t going to call me to something I can’t handle. I don’t need to be afraid of what he’ll call me to do. Even the big scary things seem less scary when I’m walking close with him and know I’m not alone.
What are you feeling condemnation or guilt about? What is the source?