I wasn’t really sure about blogging about race, politics and all of these other polarizing current events. In true Minnesotan fashion, my worst fear is offending anyone.
However, the more I thought about it, I realized offending others wasn’t what I really feared. Being wrong is what I feared. The older I get, the more time I have to look back and see all the things I’ve gotten wrong. The stances I was so sure were right, but I was actually ignorant and misinformed.
This has happened to me a lot, especially in regards to systemic racism and white privilege. So many things I’ve said and believed were ignorant and thoughtless. It hurts to remember them.
And with the knowledge of where I’ve gotten things wrong, has come the fear to make those mistakes again. And this fear is grounded. There is so much I still don’t know and understand and am going to get wrong!
Our society hasn’t helped this either. Every day I look at news articles and Facebook feeds where if someone shares how they feel, someone is there instantly to tear their vulnerability to threads- exposing all the weaknesses and inaccuracies in what they shared to make themselves feel better for having the eyes to see it.
I realized that somewhere along the way in life, I started to believe that I have more value if I was always right; if I was always perfect. I know I’m not perfect, but I can at least pretend I am and stay silent when I’m not sure if I’m right.
I thought the solution to being imperfect was silence. Therefore, I wouldn’t post about Black Lives Matter. Even though I believe Black Lives Matter, I don’t know what other things they support that might be wrong so I won’t support them at all. I don’t know the full details of what happened at that police shooting so I won’t show support one way or the other.
However, I’m coming to see that the solution to being imperfect is not silence, but rather humility.
Instead of staying silent, let’s show compassion for other’s pain regardless of whether or not we feel they “deserved it.” Just like God does for us every time we come to him in prayer.
Instead of staying silent, let’s share our opinions and thoughts with courage, knowing our worth is not dependent on being right or whether or not others agree, but rather we speak up because God has called us to be culture makers and share his love and truths.
Instead of staying silent, let’s share our thoughts and opinions with humility, quick to ask forgiveness, slow to anger, and desiring to understand more than be understood.
And when others have the courage and humility to speak up, instead of pointing out their errors and weaknesses to show our superiority, let’s instead dialogue with grace, forgiveness and kindness; with a desire for understanding rather than being the winner of an argument.
That’s my desire with this blog. To have the courage and humility to speak up.