It’s been a weird sort of week. I’ve kind of been in a funk and not fully myself, but it’s usually these times that God’s trying to get me to listen, so he can teach me something. Here’s some lessons learned from the week.
Clouds & Rest.
I’m usually moving, moving, moving, so much so, I don’t have an open weekend the rest of the summer. I enjoy the pace, but every few months it catches up with me and I need to hibernate. This week has been a little like that. Sunday I sat in the backyard for hours, trying to be productive, but realized the most productive thing I could do was just sit. Sit and watch the clouds roll by.
Humility in Advice.
I think it’s easy (especially when you’ve grown up in the church) to look at things objectively as to what the best course of action is and think that that is the way everyone should act and behave. The hard thing is that this world is grey and filled with sin. It’s also full of God’s grace. In light of those two things, the best course of action doesn’t always happen and sometimes it works out for the best. This really messes with my black and white self-righteous brain. There’s definitely a place for honest, gritty advice, and we need to share what we see with others- that’s the value of community. However, I think the thing I’m realizing is that just because I see it a certain way doesn’t mean that it’s absolutely right OR that God isn’t going to bring about something beautiful through another way- even a messy way. It takes humility to realize that, but in that humility there’s freedom.
What I was Created to Do.
This week it’s felt like I’m not doing what I was created to do. What I’m doing isn’t bad or terrible, and for that reason I’ve kept sitting here. That’s a dangerous place to be- trapped in ok without the motivation to step out of it into something greater. What’s the line between sinful discontentment and not being in the right fit? How do I move toward something new, but stay hardworking and content in the here and now?
Little things make me love and enjoy life again when I’m in that funk. Planning fun get togethers. Setting goals. Cooking a meal. Reading a book. Having a good conversation with a friend. I think it’s all about remembering that thanks to God’s grace, life’s really good and it’s not all about me. When I’m in a mood, it’s time to start looking for glimpses of him, glimpses of joy.